Straight outta daycare - he's one and a half
but my brother's a tough fighter it’s true - don’t laugh
and all day long he gets hugged and kissed
by people who’ve forgotten I even exist
but they only think he’s a sweet little thing
cause they haven’t seen him in the babyfighting ring
that I’ll run in my basement in the middle of the night
place your bets as the babies fight
I’ll bet my brother can beat anyone anywhere
he’s one tough baby and he’s comin’ straight outta daycare
You don’t wanna mess now, because he’s the master
got a rattle full of rage, a diaper full of disaster
peek a boo boo baby’s fighting and lean
mom and dad would never guess that he was so mean
but I’ll bet they won’t think that he’s so sweet
when they see him beat up every other baby on the street
rat a tat a tat like that
never hesitate to put a baby to his back
he’ll be the other babies’ worst nightmare
he’s already mine, and he’s comin’ straight outta daycare
Share my toys? Oh come on mommy!
What do I look like to you, a commie?
I know you say you still love me just as much as him
but do you really think that I'm that dim?
No, I'm smart, I'll make the other kids pay me
watching him knock babies out the box daily
weekly and monthly and yearly
til grandma sees him fight, and then she'll say "dear me!
I thought that he was sweet, but was I wrong there!"
He's a punk with a teething grill, coming straight outta daycare
(c) 2007 by Adam Selzer. ASCAP